He's On TV

He’s on TV

Something from the news this week that grabbed my attention was seeing Professor Sharrock on Breakfast Television. To say my heart lept is to put it mildly, but not in the way you might think.

I first meet professor Sharrock about 2 years ago, when I was sent to Sheffield Hallamshire to see him due to some odd eyesight issues that Barnsley hospital couldn’t answer.

Having had my first appointment cancelled with him at very short notice I was given another appointment for seven o'clock one evening. As so often happens with the NHS his clinic was running late, so late in fact that the receptionist and the clinic nurse both went home while I was still sitting in the waiting room. It was one of the few times I have felt very alone, and briefly a little scarred. I had no real idea why I had been sent to see Professor Sharrock, other than Barnsley had no answers. However sat looking around the waiting room, I began to get an idea as all the posters and leaflets related to MS. I put it to the back of my mind, decided that it must be for another clinic that ran from the same location, after all I was here for my eyes.

Eventually at around half past eight I was finally called in to see Professor Sharrock, my husband had arrived by now and this may have been a mistake. Professor Sharrock ignored me and asked my husband all sorts of questions, which of course he couldn’t answer. He then sent me away telling me I would be called for tests.

Months later I was pestering my GP to find out what had happened to my tests, and she once again phoned Professor Sharrocks secretary. She got through to his new one, I found out later they never last long working for him. It seemed my paperwork like many others had got lost, or at least misplaced.

I was soon attending Sheffield again for a whole range of tests that involved electronic receivers to various parts of my head, and in my eyes, then watching patterns on computer screens. All whiles sat in a dark room for over an hour.

Still no one had told me what they were testing for, and it was only after a student doctor let slip that I did not have a brain tumour and that my tests were inconclusive.  That I managed to get him to admit that it was indeed MS that they were testing for. Was it a shock, no not really, well not for me. I had worked out a long time before what they were testing for. I have lots of symptoms, and know that the diagnosis may well come in the future. Am I scared, no not anymore, will it slow me down, no not if I can help it. When I asked the student why no one had said anything before, he told me Professor Sharrock doesn’t like to worry patients with scary names of medical conditions. He then went on to ask me not to tell the professor that he had blabbed.

I have seen Professor Sharrock several times since, but he has always been very rude to me. Maybe it’s because I ask questions he can not answer, maybe I don’t allow him to treat me a a little woman, I don’t know. I know other patients who think he is wonderful, but also others that have refused to see him again. I have seen other Neurologists, but have no answers. Professors Sharrocks comment beats all others “oh you must have always had those problems and just not realised”, is that really an answer you would expect from a professor. I certainly didn’t.

I watched his research with interest, well you never know, it’s always good to be informed. I watched the young man, bed bound a few months ago, now riding a bike, so clearly it works. Rebooting the immune system with chemo and stem cells, almost a miracle one said. I can see that maybe there is another side to the Professor.

So seeing Professor Sharrock, made my heart leap, because I remembered that secret that's always there, always at the back of my mind, but buried deep. It's not him so much as what I associate him with. I suppose I should be grateful to Professor Sharrock, but I still have no answers. Without answers it’s the only way to cope, bury it deep, don’t think about it, hope I never will have too.