That Night

I thought I would always remember this but, over time, it has become blurred.

I’ll never forget the date, our lives changed, changed for ever, but the events of that night are a mystery still, bits of it are there, but not all of it, that might be for the best.

I watch him now, he was older but that was all, he still visits every year. It was a long time ago, a very long time ago. I was only young then, I’m still not entirely sure what happened. We were in the graveyard, we often went there as teenagers, it held no fear for us, nothing could hurt us, we were teenagers.

I don’t remember who’s idea it was now, but it seemed like a good one. What did we decide to do? climb the tower, yes to the top on outside. I got there first I think, no it was Tim, he was first to the top, yes that's right. It's all so long ago. He put his hand over to help me, but I’m not sure what happened, I must have missed my footing,  I reached out but it was too late, I couldn’t reach, Tim shouted, what did he shout? It's all so long ago.

Looking up at the tower now with him, it's so high, why did we do it, why. He is crying now, as he does every year, I want to hug him, tell him it's not so bad. But he wouldn’t know who I am now, he’ll only remember the old me, the young me.

“Don’t go, stay and talk to me” but he doesn’t hear me, he never does. He walks off to the gates, who is he with is that James and oh what is his name now, oh yes John, it's been so long, I watch from a safe distance. I watch as they lay flowers by a headstone.

Reading the headstone,  

Toby Wilson

12th August 1980 - 11th August 1995

Taken from us too soon

There on the grave, a laminated newspaper cutting

Teenager dies in cemetery accident

Coroner records death by misadventure. Teenager Toby Wilson 15, was killed when his friend Daniel Hipgrave 14 fell whilst climbing the tower of East Chapel. Debris dislodged by Daniel as he climbed fell from the tower striking Toby on the head. Daniel was also injured in the fall.

Two lives ruined they said, but it was more than that. There was 6 of us there that night, all ruined, all scared.

I follow the 3 men as they walk to another grave

Tim Cocklin

13th October 1980- 12th September 1995

“I still can’t believe he did it”, said James

“ He blamed himself, but it wasn’t his fault” said John The three men hugged each other.

“Does anyone know what happened to Daniel? I saw him in hospital after the accident, but then he ran away” Said Simon, it was Simon's fault, his idea, that's why he visits so often, that's why I watch him, sometimes he turns, but he never sees me, or never recognises me, my face smashed beyond recognition, my legs different lengths now. I hide in shadows, sleep in doorways. 6 lives ruined that night