Tease Me

Tease me

Please me

Tickle me

Please

“Really that's your erotic poem that you have spent three hours writing. Well three hours looking at; what was it you called it inspiration? Research? no, finding your muse that was it. I call it bloody porn” she said leaning over her husband to read the word document, that he had flicked back to every time she entered the room. She slammed the laptop shut and stormed out.

Greg had sat back in his chair, she just didn’t understand him, didn’t understand his work. One day he would show her.

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That was earlier before she packed her bags and went off to her mother's.  I hate that woman. No not the wife, my mother in law she has been wanting for this for years. It's all her fault my darling Penny has left. Nagged her constantly, always telling her what a bad husband I am. What would she know miserable old cow, just because her husband left her.

Get this when she came to pick Penny up she took the bloody router, how am I expected to work now. I mean a man needs his internet, it’s a human right.

#

I've shown them free WiFi in the pub, can't use my research sites, adult content apparently.  Bloody prudes. But plenty I can do, chatting to some tart she keeps sending me photos not the same though. All helps though, got loads of work done.

Tease Me

Please Me

Tickle Me

Please

Suck Me

Lick Me

Bite Me

Please

“What do you think it's coming on isn't it?” The barmaid nodded, hers tits bobbed up and down as she did.  I licked my lips, I’d rather lick those, maybe later. “Its an erotic poem love” I gave her my best seductive smile “It’ll turn you one when it’s finished.” She smiled back, I’m in there.

Peep! my mobile lit up with another message

You still there lover boy?

Yep you bet

Do you know what I want you to do to me?

I was getting excited now,  reached down and gripped my cock through his trousers, it was firming up what a waste. If I’d been at home, could have enjoyed this more. Bitch taking the router.

Peep!

Nope what do you want me to do to you? Do you want me to lick your bristols? Or nibble your pussy?

Nope, keep guessing

I was getting very hot under the collar now, may have to nip to the loos in a minute, unless I can persuade that barmaid to pop out back with me. I gave her a smile and a wink, she looked away.

Peep!

Go on

Send me a photo first

I can’t really, oh hang on.

I went through my phone, searching for a photo, must have one somewhere. I  normally delete them, so the missus don’t find them. Not that it was any of her business, I mean it's not as if I’m cheating or anything. Only chatting, getting a bit of inspiration, it's all my work. It’s not as if I enjoy it it or anything, purely work. Though I’d rather do erotic than poems about flowers. Anyway if she put out occasionally or did the things I wanted, then I wouldn’t need to chat to other woman. Great, Found one. I hastily sent to, what was her name, oh never mind.

Ping!

Here you go babe

Nice but, but I want to see your face not just your cock

Odd, why would she want that, I’ll never understand woman. Oh well, quick selfie. Checking it, I laughed. Excellent got the barmaid bending over in the background, her tits are almost out. I’ll keep that, might make it my new profile pic on Facebook.  I clicked and sent it.

Ping!

Nice. Where are you?

In the pub, now what do you want me to do?

This is getting really frustrating now, bloody games.  I rub my swollen dick, my bollocks aching. Snapping my fingers to get the barmaid’s attention, she glared at me, before pasting a false smile on her face.

“Just a minute, sir” she said through clenched teeth.

“Call me Greg” I put out my hand, smiling she wiped her hands on her pinny before shaking my clammy hand. She held onto it longer than she should “Do you fancy nipping out back with me for a ……” I raised an eyebrow, gave her a wink.

“For a what?” She said

“A” he paused licking his lips  “whatever you fancy” I said in my best seductive voice. She looked me up and down.

“He must be 15 years older than me, and married, look at his clothes, his wife dresses him, what a prat” She whispered to her male colleague, of course I didn’t hear this.

“I’m a bit busy at the moment” she bent over to get a glass, I leaned over the bar to get the best view down her top. Nice, I’d love to bury my face in there

“Go on, I only want a hand job” I pleaded, he was desperate now. The beer making me brave. She wanted to slap him but she needed this job, tosser.

Ping!

Are you still there?

Yes

What pub are you in

Red Lion, why

Just wondered

Come on what do you want me to do?

Come on respond, I laid the phone on the bar and went back to watching the barmaid. Nice, I thought as she bent over again. I imagined her hand gripping my dick, better still her mouth. I can’t remember the last blow job I had. My wife don’t like that sort of thing, infact not sure she even liked dicks. I chuckled to myself, it’s her fault, all her fault.

Ping!

I want you to give your wife a divorce

What wife?

How did she know I was married, shit.

I know you are married why else would you be in a pub messaging me

Fair point, suppose I could lie, she’d never know.

Okay, I am. But we split up.

Really

Yep, I’m single now. But why do you care?

Because I want us to be together.

Christ it's a bit soon, don’t even know your name.

It’s Claire

Well Claire, don’t you think we should meet first

Okay, I’ll be there in five minutes

Fuck she was coming here, I dashed to the gents to make myself look presentable. I sat back at the bar and waited. Ignoring or at least trying to ignore the barmaid. I heard the door open, nope not her. Shit, Imagine my surprise when I turned and saw the wife. Penny stood behind me, what was she doing here.

“Greg, drunk again” She said

Shit, fuck, the door opened and Claire walked in, she walked straight over towards me. Oh shit. The barmaid watched a smile on her face.

“Hello darling, sorry was just parking the car. Are you ready?” Said Claire, as she put her arm around Penny’s waist and kissed her. What, what was happening. My head couldn’t cope, Claire knew Penny, shit, no it was fine a treat, two of them, I was a lucky chap tonight. My poem must have worked. I smiled a drunken smile at the two ladies. Lucky me, I looked around the pub beaming at the other punters, bet they’re all jealous.

“Ace, two of you” I said out loud, a huge smile spreading across my face.

“Greg, Penny is leaving you, that why I want you to get a divorce. We are going to be together. Penny and I. Thank you for the evidence you sent me” Said Claire. What was she saying. Penny reached into her handbag and took out an envelope, which she passed to Greg.

“Greg, Claire and I are moving in together. Those are the divorce papers” She paused allowing him to take in what she was saying “Goodbye Greg” With that she and Claire turned and left the pub hand in hand.

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