Invisible for the Day

Invisible for the Day

Waking up for the day, I swung my legs out of bed, God my head feels funny, I wonder what happened last night. I try to slip my feet into my slippers, but I can’t see them, no not my slippers, my feet, oh my god where are my feet, they were there last night, I’m sure they were. Of course they were, you stupid woman, I chastise my myself. Oh my god, oh my god, I’ve lost my feet. “Stop it,” I say out loud, “You’re dreaming, lay down, wake up again, and it will all be fine”.  I lay back in bed pulling the covers around me, snuggling back down, I close my eyes. I must have been tired as I dozed off, slipping back into a dream world.

What’s that noise, my head hurts must shut it up, it’s so loud, I know that sound. I try to open my eyes, but it's too bright. Still that sound is deafening me. My brain fuzz clears a little, I know what it is, I’ve heard it before, it's my alarm, of course, my alarm, it's time to get up, work, I have work. Panic setting in now, I jump out of bed, no time for slippers, I charge out of my room and into the bathroom. I threw myself down onto the toilet while grabbing my toothbrush. God that was a funny dream I had, I chuckle to myself, losing my feet, how stupid, it’s amazing how your brain works when you are asleep. I walk to the sink and spit out my toothpaste, I’m still learning over the sink when I realise, didn’t see my reflection in the mirror when I bent over, or my hand when I flushed the toilet. No now I definitely awake now, maybe I’m blind, no I can see the sink. I move my hand under my face in the sink, it's not there, maybe I’m paralysed. A dribble of toothpaste falls from my mouth and onto my hand, I can feel it and see it, but it's floating in mid-air. Slowly I stand up, my eyes closed to scared to look, I opened my right eye first just peeking a little as if to trick my reflection, I have no reflection, other than a bit of toothpaste on my chin. I grip the sink to keep me upright.

I stumble into the kitchen, Tea, I need Tea. I flick the kettle on, stumbling back into a chair, jumping back up as the cold metal touches my bare bottom. I tried clothes, but they could be seen, I could not, so I took them off. Grabbing my tea, I phone work tell them I’ll be late, I’ll be in when I feel better later, no, of course, I wasn’t hungover. Drinking my tea, retracing my footsteps of last night, what had happened. Of course that card, I rush to the hallway, and pull out the card, the gold edged purple card, with gold writing.

Haroun the Great

Magician, Hypnotist

and

Mysticism

Flat 9a, 52b Newburgh Street. W1F 7BT

It's coming back now, the show, we went to see a show, I laughed and said he could hypnotise me. Maybe that's it he had made me think I’m invisible. I’ll take a selfie, I rummage for my phone, pulling it out, 15 missed calls from Carla, best phone her back. I ring her, she’s in tears.

“I’m invisible, Alan can’t see me” She blubbed down the phone

“I can’t see her” called Alan “ I can hear her and feel her, but not see her.”

“Me too” Strangely this news is actually relaxed me, but it did mean I really was invisible, wow, actually this was pretty cool. “I’ll be round in five minutes” I grabbed the card from the table and my keys, and slammed the door shut.

It was only when I got outside that I realised in my haste I was still naked, but then no one could see me, so who cares. I walk down the street, head high, the wind teasing my naked body, I shiver, but I don’t care. Now I know how the naked rambler feels, and it’s good, very good.

Carla opened the door, at least I think she did, the door opened, and Alan wasn’t touching it, she hugged me, I felt naked flesh oh god.

“Oh god you’re naked” we both shout at once, jumping away from each other. “Yuck.”

“I don’t mind” Said Alan, waving his arms around trying to find us. We both laugh. He is still stumbling around feeling for us as Carla flicks the kettle on.

“What do we do?” Carla asked

“I guess we need to find him, Haroun the Great,” I said, “It’s all we can do.”

“Who, But where? How?” I pull the card out from the back of my phone and held it towards her voice. We giggle. This could be fun.

The Letter

I thought I would always remember this but, over time, it has become blurred.

I was rummaging through a drawer, I pulled out an old envelope, it was all creased and crumpled from age. I sat on the bed pulling the letter out, carefully unfolding it, reading the words that I had read many times before, but not for a long time.

A lump formed in my throat, my mind drifting back, I could still make out the scene, his face, that poor child. There was blood, lots of blood, furniture overturned, what had happened here, a cold chill ran down my spine. I don’t know what had brought me to that house that day, or why I had opened the door, in fact all the events of that day are a blur to me. What I remember most is that face, that frail scared face, that will be with me till the day I die. Of course it was all such a long time ago now, a lifetime ago, I was 11, no 12, only a child myself, it’s what inspired me to join the force, I wanted to help, wanted make things right.

Glancing down at the letter I read those lines again, the simple child’s handwriting, neat yet immature at the same time. A tear rolls down my check, that poor child, he’d be almost 30 now, I wonder how his life would have been different if it wasn’t for that day, how all our lives would have been different. Stuffing the letter back into its envelope I place it back in the drawer, closing my eyes I lay back on the bed, our whole lives would have been different.

The kettle on, the toast in, the television on, rushing around I adjust my clothing whilst trying to make breakfast.

“.......Police chiefs have announced they are reopening the case of the so called Burlington Butcher…” The room started to spin, oh good I am going to me sick, I reach the sink in time retching as I do. No I must have heard it wrong, it must my mind playing tricks on me. Crash, what was that, oh it’s only the paper, I go to pick it up, pop  there’s the toast, back to the kitchen leaving the paper, I hurriedly butter my toast and make tea, not that I feel much like it now, but can’t go to work on an empty stomach. Dashing out the door I grab the paper as I run to bus.

Sitting down, unfolding the paper, the headline We will catch the Burlington Butcher then there it is, a picture of Jack, my blood runs cold as I look at that face again, the world’s spinning, I think back to that letter.

Dear Mary,

Why didn’t you come sooner, I called for you, again and again, but you didn’t come. He saw you, he was still there when you came, watch out.

Jack

We’ll catch him, unless he gets me first.

Frost Tanka

Icy touch burns plants

Icy touch makes paths glassy

Icy touch chills all

Icy touch like diamonds

Icy touch leaves marks on all

Rain Tanka

She comes from the South

Misty, Soft, Torrential, Wet

Tears bring life and death

Her temperament  from mild

Turning to violent rage

Snow Tanka

He comes from the North.

Cold and icey just like death

Yet his cold embrace

Brings ruin, death, destruction

After comes new life and birth

Jackspeak Dialogue

The Old Matelot

“Welcome to my mess deck, Moses,” Said the Killick of the Mess “your pits over yonder, still warm from Izzy, he’s in deeks, left his half-hard books if you want them, handy for a nifty fifty”

“Thank you, But why did you call me Moses.” Said the young sailor, frowning

“Pull up a bollard I’ll spin thee a dit, I’ll be your Sea Daddy, call me Hooks,” Said the Killick, patting the young sailor on the back

“What do you mean?” said the young sailor

“Have an oggie?” he said passing the lad a Cornish pasty “And a glass of limers”

“On this War Canoe, it’s 0700 for breakfast we cackleberries and car smash, a train smash or a Cowboy's breakfast.  1200 for lunch Babies Heads and Bonsai trees  or Cheesy hammy eggy followed by covered wagon for scran cooked by the baby clacker, he’s bells in the head him, but he’s a good egg.” The killick laughed at his own wit.

The young sailor looked confused, the Killick pointed around the mess.

“I’ll introduce you,” said the Killick, with a smile

“Poor Dusty, the custard bosun went for a belly muster because he had crutch rot and they found cupid’s measles, the Dick Doc from Ark said it was the worst he’s ever seen, but at least he didn’t have a dose. Dusty had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, and teeth like a row of condemned houses when Doc told him, he’ll not forget his wellies from the queen again even when he’s hog snarling.”

“See Lofty over there, yep him built like a racing snake, he had to go for an interview without coffee, where the Jimmy read him his horoscope, He’s lucky he didn’t get a short haircut and go over the wall for what he did but weaseled out of it as always. We all stay schtum about that, though, he’s off to the a Trick cyclist next week”

“ And Jesse, he’s all prick and padded shoulders,  he wears a jock frock and speaks jockanese, he’s a junket bosun for the old man. Jesse is a complete muppet, the most useless person pusser ever trained. He is is a complete murderface. He has nautical nausea, real bad, spent a week with his head in the white telephone, Thought he was going to stop his clock, poor bugger.” He chuckled to himself at the memory of his stricken shipmate “Last week,  He was caught up in the nesting boxes, Stole a Jenny’s Rubber Hubby, went to table for that, The Jimmy was not best pleased gave him number nines for that”

The young sailor turned knocking over a pile of beer cans, sending the flying with a crash.

“Sunset, Sir,” Said Tugg from the corner, chuckling.

“So I said to Royal, Up or Down, not sideways,” said another old hand entering the mess with an oppo "Bloody Royals can't use ladders, wedged in the hatch he was".

“Dinger and Windy,” said the Killick gesturing towards the two men, both nodded in acknowledgement.

“On Poet’s Day we watch a Mickey Duck, we like a good shit kicker, then off to grab a granny night or the RN School of Dancing up Pompey it goes from the sublime to the gor-blime in there.” Said the Killick, he scanned the room his face suddenly lit up and he pointed to sleeping sailor “Trunk and Monk, Wiggy there, should have seen the duty skirt he pulled last week, she was proper 10 pints pretty, he trapped her doing a widow’s hop. He’s always yammering about something or other”

“Berma-do, that's the place to be, we went bare buff to banyons, we always had barrel fever the next day.  We’d run ashore in our glad rags for beer, big eats, bag off and back on board. The crushers were harsh when Taff was bombed out and got bollocky buff. Taff had the breaking strain if a warm Mars bar when it came to CSB he should have stuck to dead steam. Me, I prefer a dark and dirty or an electric lemonade, what’s your tipple, Adam’s Ale?”

“The kerosene budgie was burning and turning, the cabbage hats jumped onboard, reading their Globe and Buster.  That paraffin pigeon was humongous.” Said another sailor as he passed by. “Shut that Punkah-louvre, it’s enough to freeze the balls off” He picked up a magazine from the table “The Sports Pages, Phew, Put me down for some of that, The names Spud” He put out his hand. “Uckers anyone? The sun's over the yardarm chuck us a suds. Two’s up on Viz, Taff.”

“Tomorrow, Aggie Weston’s for tea and stickies, you coming along” Said Taff, to no one in particular “might even get a nibble if we’re lucky.” He opened his locker door, which squeaked as he did “Chuck us the Pusser’s fix-all, Nobby” The Killick throw him the WD-40.

“Just one question, why did you join the Navy?” Said the young sailor

“It’s me heritage, son! I come from a long line of sailors, born in a pussers blanket, and a natural love of the sea and all its moods from the long deep blue swell of the pacific to the cold grey chop of the North Sea. Plus the fact that Wrens wear black stockings”

“I’m off to shake hands with my best mate” The old sailor left the mess deck, the young sailor again looked even more confused.

“He’s gone to the Heads to Syphon the Python. It’s all a word salad to you init?” said Spud seeing the young sailors bemused expression, laughing as he turned back to his magazine. “Pumping the ship, he is”

#

* With assistance from Jackspeak

The Eyes Have It Short Story

The eyes have it

Their eyes meet across the room, she smiled, but not with her mouth, just with her eyes.

How did she do that? he wondered, trying to smile with his eyes only, he caught sight of himself in the window, oh my god what do I look like? He glanced back up at her, hoping she hadn’t seen his grimacing attempts to smile with his eyes only. She wasn’t looking, why wasn’t she looking at him, actually that was lucky at least she hadn’t seen his face. Oh no maybe she had seen and that’s why she wasn’t looking she was horrified

Marie had seen him, she had watched him looking at her that’s why she had smiled, she had no idea what attracted her to him, it couldn’t be his stunning good looks, it couldn’t be his voice, so what was it? why had this man got under her skin. She busied herself with her work trying not to look at him or think about him.

“What’s on your mind?” said Josie “you’re miles away”, Josie was right Marie hadn’t even noticed her come into the room.

“I’m fine, just deep in thought about the weekend. What about you, are you going home this weekend?” said Marie.

Josie giggled, “Oh yes, it’s my sister’s birthday we are all going out to a new club, then Sunday…..” Marie wasn’t listening her gaze had drifted back to him, she suddenly realised she was blushing, he caught her eye, she blushed some more, swallowing hard she looked away. “What about you?” said Josie “Marie are you listening?, you really are miles away”

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I said, What about you?, what are you doing this weekend? Anything nice?” said Josie, Marie struggled to stay on track as Josie prattled away in her light cheerful way. Marie smiled at Josie .

“Not sure yet, Mum wants me to go home, but I’m not sure, I may just bugger off to the hills, do some walking, get some fresh air and exercise” She patted her bottom “I could do with the exercise”

“Why not come home with me” said Josie “might be able to find you a new boyfriend” Josie paused, “sorry, I didn’t mean to be insensitive” Josie stroked her friends arm, and gave a smile.

#

Marie sat on her bed in her small cabin, her tired feet in a bowl of hot water and Epsom Salts, the faint smell of Listerine filled the air. Marie looked at her feet beneath the water, “well I’ve tried some odd things in my time, but Epsom Salts and Listerine is a first” She said out loud despite being alone. She sat up and reached for a towel, drying her feet her thoughts drifted back to him, to his eyes, his eyes so blue they looked like mountain pools. She shook her head “What are you doing girl?”, she walked to the sink and splashed cold water on her face “You can’t do this, he can never be yours” she said out loud, reprimanding herself. She groaned as she heard the giggles of a colleague in the cabin above

#

He lay there eyes shut, body aching, but it wasn’t the normal aches and pains this was different, less physical more…., no he didn’t know but it was different. She was in his mind all the time, her eyes, her smile, her legs and that bottom, he’d watched her pat her bottom when she was talking to her friend, what he wouldn’t give to do that, to stroke her hair, I wonder how long her hair is? He drifted off to sleep dreaming of her laying next to him, her head on his shoulder.

#

Opening the tent door she looked out, “And that is why I do this” she said, taking a deep breath of mountain air, she shivered in the cool morning breeze, she pulled her hat down over her ears. As she touched it a memory came from nowhere, she pulled off the hat and stroked it between her fingers, it had been his hat, she had brought it for him. The image of her fiancé lying there in his coffin replaced the happy one of them celebrating his birthday. The feelings came back along with the tears, 9 months now this was silly, why could she not just get on with life? he was gone, the guilt, that was worse than the grief, the guilt that it was her fault. Well no she knew she hadn’t killed him, but she could have stopped him, so she was just as responsible as him. Then came the hate, the hate for herself and for him, how could she hate him? she loved him, it didn’t make sense. None of it made sense, that’s why they had made her ‘speak to someone’, What does that mean anyway? It had helped a bit, she hadn’t told him anything, how could she, how could she explain that she hated the man she loved, she couldn’t understand it , no one else could, they’d lock her up.

Wiping her tears away, she busied herself with breakfast, before packing up her tent and heading off towards the summit.

#

Josie helped him to transfer into the other chair, “well good luck” she said picking up his bags as the ambulance driver took the chair. “We will miss you” she said chatting away on her normal way to the ambulance driver. He wanted to ask where Marie was but couldn’t, damn it he hated this, he hated what it did to him, he hated that he never spoken to her, never told her how he felt. But then how could he? she wouldn’t be interested in him, how could she ever be interested? she was lovely and young, good looking. He was, well he was half the man he had been , she wouldn’t look at him, no one would. He listened as Josie chatted on, giggling away, God her voice and chatter was irritating, he wouldn’t miss that.

#

Marie breezed into the ward to be greeted by Josie, as Josie chattered to her she noticed the empty bed. The colour drained from her cheeks.

“Josie where’s the chap from bed 3?”

“Transferred yesterday to his local hospital, a young woman came to pick him up” said Josie

Marie sighed, “That’s great, always good to see them go home, I didn’t realise he was ready” “His family were insistent, said he could get better care there”. Marie smiled, but her smile hid the sadness in her chest, he had gone, she had thought about him all weekend, and now he was gone. But why did she feel like this? she didn’t really know him, yet she felt jealous, jealous of the young woman who had come to collect him, jealous of the family who had him back, how stupid.

She was suddenly aware of Josie talking to her.

“Marie, are you okay?, you have gone white” Marie tried to smile, but couldn’t, she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, the lump in her throat. She nodded, swallowing hard, grabbing a chair to steady herself.

#

He sat on the bed, it felt odd without the bandages, but felt good too, he hadn’t dared look yet, he knew the burns had been bad, he had heard them talking.

“So you’re leaving us tomorrow” said a voice from behind him, turning he smiled.

“Yes doctor, off to rehab”

#

It was the best thing she had ever done, putting in for a new draft, a new start. It was almost two years now since she had lost the love of her life, and everyone had told he it would get easier, they just hadn’t said how long it would take to get easier, just that it would get easier. Of course the inquest had helped, it hadn’t told her anything new or didn’t already know, but it had helped. The coroner had concluded that ‘Jack had died as a result of his injuries caused when his car had gone off a cliff’ He didn’t attribute blame to the alcohol in his system, apparently he was still below the limit, but it didn’t make her feel any better. Maybe the new posting would help, maybe as Josie had suggested she would finally meet someone new, start again, then maybe the pain would ease, Marie found it hard to believe, but was willing to try anything.

She pulled on her new uniform. Doing a twirl she admired her reflection, yep she looked good, it was nice not to be in Scrubs, and back in a proper nurses uniform. She left her cabin and walked the short distance to the clinic.

After a busy morning of routine vaccinations, sprains and rashes it was time to change again for an afternoon on the hills, oh yes that was the big attraction to this job, she could be part of the RAF Mountain Rescue Team. She felt a little knot of excitement as she opened the door and walked into the team room. standing by the door she took in the sights and smells, that smell of nikwax and mud that always made her smile. The room was warm and damp, almost steamy, but cosy none the less.

“Our new member, how wonderful” said a man pushing his way across the room, his hand outstretched. He took her hand and he shook it enthusiastically. “This everyone is Marie, she is joining us a medical professional, she has a lot of hill walking experience”

She smiled looking round the room at all the smiling faces, welcoming her.

She settled into a chair with a large mug of steaming tea for the team briefing, her thoughts drifting, as she let the mug warm her hands. Looking around the room, people smiled at her as she caught their eye, but then she paused, he smiled, she recognised something about him, but what was it, she was sure she hadn’t met him before, maybe she had seen him in the canteen.

“So if we are all happy with that grab your packs and meet outside in ten” said a voice from the front. Jumping up she nipped to the loo, not wanting to get caught short on the hill, she might have her shewee that Josie had given her as a leaving present, but she intended to keep that firmly in her pack.

“Marie, do you want to jump in here with me? I can run through some things with you on the way” said the chap that had welcomed her earlier. She threw her rucksack in the back and jumped up into the Land Rover. “So what we will do if that’s okay, is use you as a casualty today, it gives us a chance to get to know each other and for you to see the team in action”

She nodded, her mind racing, her heart beating fast.

#

Settling down in her bivvy bag next to rock she got comfy, as comfy as you can be up a mountain in a bivvy bag, waiting for the rescue team to arrive.

#

As he treked up the hill, his mind and heart raced, he had never thought he would see her again, and yet there she was, she had been stood there in the team room, their eyes had locked again. Had she recognised him, of course she hadn’t, how could she, but he knew it was her. He would never forget her, her smile, her eyes. The weather was getting worse, the cloud descending, making the air cold and damp, he pulled his hood tighter.

“Over there, to your left” a voice called, he turned to see the small figure snuggled down in the bright orange bag, he turned towards them, his pace quickening as he crossed the uneven ground to reach her. It maybe only a training exercise, but he needed to get to her, he needed to look into those eyes again. He reached her, placing a hand on her shoulder he realised something was wrong, she was unconscious, maybe she was a sleep, no she wasn’t waking up.

“I need help over here, unconscious casualty” he shouted, turning back to her he got to work, removing her wet hat, placing his own dry warm hat on her, he pulled the emergency shelter from his rucksack pulling it over them both, whilst the rest of the team went to work radioing for a helicopter. He pulled her to him desperately trying to warm her body. “Come on Marie, please, open your eyes” He begged.

After what seemed like hours she opened her eyes and looked up at him, their eyes met, and he smiled.

“Thank god, Marie, you had us all worried there, not good to finish off a new team member on their first day” he said brushing a stray hair from her face.

She felt it again, it couldn’t be, he couldn’t be. Her heart leapt in her chest at the recognition, it was him. Her thoughts were interrupted by the whir of the helo above, he leaned over her sheltering her from the wind, she could smell him now, his aftershave mixed with Nikwax and the sweet scent of sweat, breathing in deeply she closed her eyes.

“You don’t remember me do you, or at least you don’t recognise me” he whispered. She tried to speak but no words came. “Can I take you out for a Dinner?”

“Yes” she said still struggling to find the words, “Of course”

#

Sitting up in bed she smiled as he came into the room, there it was that smile with her eyes, that smile he had fallen in love with but never expected to see again. He sat next to the bed and took her hand.

“Thank you” she said “ You saved me, Thank you” He smiled

“Only returning the favour”

#

Light Short Story

Light

I peeked out of my box, humph it was still daylight, I hate the daylight, everyone can see me. I hate being seen. I turned and rushed back into the shadows, that's better, I can hide here, out of sight and out of mind.

Moving from shadow to shadow amongst piles of rubbish I sneak another peek, Good the sun's going down, the people are rushing home before it gets dark. I like the dark, Oh Pizza, damn someone’s kicked it into the gutter.

That's it, it’s dark now, the sun's gone down, the only light now comes from the glow of streetlights and the bright harsh neon lights of the takeaways.

Oh what a life, Friday night living under the bins of a kebab shop, next door to the Indian and round the corner from the burger bar. No don’t feel sorry for me, life's great, couldn’t be better, all I can eat and everyone leaves me alone, as long as I stay out of the light, out of sight, I’m ignored. So I do, I avoid the lights, some would say I’m shifty, but I think I’m pretty smart, Why work when I can have it all handed to me on a plate, or a kebab box.

I scurry out of my alleyway, out into the street, bright car lights streak, whao that was close. I grab the pizza, pepperoni my favourite, and dash back to the safety of my alleyway. I love the dark, I can hide in the dark.

The shop lights have gone out now, the staff all going home. It’s time for work, I dash about collecting leftovers, others rubbish, got to be quick before the sun come up and it's time  to sleep.

Who am I?, I’m a rat of course.